A Blog for the Church

Now what?

First know that it is not going to be easy. I never said it would be.

It is time to go deeper, be more sacrificial, more missional and more intentional. You are not content just sitting in a pew. You have heard plenty of sermons, attended potlucks up the ying yang and brought friends to the “bring a friend Sunday services.” Now it’s time to get serious.

So what will you do after your exodus? Maybe go and meet the neighbors, you know, those people Jesus told you to love. They may be surprised to see you out in the neighborhood on Sunday morning. Or go to a Starbucks and pray for the people around you or go for a bike ride. I don’t know. I don’t think it really matters as long as you are listening to God and not just going to church for the sake of going to church.

Disclaimer: Can you do all of this above without “leaving the building?” Of course you can. You can be part of an “institutional” church and still be missional, intentional, sacrificial, etc. And you can be part of a house church and be extremely self-centered and unloving.

Just be careful. It’s not about the location, it’s about the heart.

I find that relationships tend to go deeper and have better accountability in small churches. This does not mean it is the only way.

As always, I would love to hear your comments as we plough together in the journey. Press on church.

How do we achieve escape velocity?

Last week I explained my version of escape velocity or How to leave a church that is causing more harm than good in your life.

Leaving a church is a very emotional and difficult decision.  You have no doubt made good friends and have a surplus of memories. It is important to examine your heart and motives. I am not suggesting that you leave disgruntled or arrogantly.

So, if you have taken my advice and done a lot of prayer concerning your “escape” and you really believe that this is a move that you should make then go for it. I know, easier said than done.

If you need some moral support, there are plenty of people who have left the traditional church to meet in homes or other “non-conventional” locations. If you would like to contact me or other leaders in the Well network, feel free. We will do our best to give you whatever support we can.

Here are some steps you may want to incorporate:

Skip a Sunday. Just make that Sunday productive. Be intentional about visiting neighbors, inviting someone to breakfast, etc. It will feel weird if you have been going to church your whole life. So, What will you do? You could:

Take this opportunity to invite some neighbors over for breakfast.

Take a prayer walk around the neighborhood and see what happens.

Or there are about 25 other things I could think of doing after leaving the building.

Pray about giving. One of the things that people often do when they leave the building is they stop giving. But the opposite should be true. Now you have an incredible opportunity to give wherever God leads you. Pray about the possibilities. They are endless.

Find or start a house church. Why leave one church just to find another one? The goal is not to isolate yourself from other believers but to be more intentional about “being” the church.

Talk to pastor and leaders. This is not to be offensive. You may even ask them for prayer and support as you begin your journey. Maybe you can creatively brainstorm about how you can be a missionary to your community. You don’t want to burn bridges. You are trying to follow the Holy Spirit.

Talk to your friends and explain to them why you are leaving. This is not to plan a coup, but an opportunity to share about the journey that you are on. Talk to people in person. Don’t write a letter or an email.

Whatever you do, don’t use this as a gripe session or a time to slander church leaders. Most church leaders are completely committed to the call of God and are doing their best teach, lead and evangelize. You can make this a time to affirm leaders and other believers. However, God is taking many people on a new path. If you are one of those people, then there is no need to apologize. Embrace what God is doing.

Leave the Building. Pick an escape date and just do it. Don’t look back. No guilt or regret.

Now comes the fun part. What will you do after you have made this epic move?

Stay tuned.

1. Visit the elderly
2. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
3. Buy someone a cup of coffee (in Jesus’ name) at Starbucks
4. Mow a neighbor’s lawn
5. Pray all morning
6. Take a long walk with God
7. Have family devotions over breakfast
8. Start a church
9. Have a garage sale and give the money to a good cause.
10. Read the Bible
11. Write a blog about not going to church
12. Pray for missionaries
13. Run a 5k, tell people about why you aren’t in church.
14. Worship God
15. Feed the homeless
16. Pray for local churches
17. Give stuff away
18. Invite the neighbors over
19. Have a block party
20. Tell a stranger the “good news.”
21. Write letters of encouragement to pastors in third world countries
22. Take bibles to everyone on your street
23. Read The Rabbit and the Elephant by Tony and Felicity Dale
24. Start a neighborhood backyard Bible club
25. Find all of the references to “church” in the New Testament

We know a family who is trapped in church. They want to escape but they can’t. They are so “involved” in ministries and programs that to leave would be letting the pastor, their friends and the “church” down. So they stay.

Every time I see them they complain about the church. They want to leave. I suspect that there are many people like this out there.

I was reading a blog by social media guru Chris Brogan about escape velocity. His definition of “escape velocity” is “the ability to leave a situation that isn’t helpful or desired.”

Wow. That sounds like my friend’s situation. Chris was referring more to a job or career change. But I, of course, immediately thought of conventional “church.” If your “church” is not helpful or desired then why not leave the building?

Yes, I said, “Leave the building” not the church,” there’s a difference. Church is the body of Christ and we need the body for a number of reasons. (Heb. 10:23-25), but the body can meet anywhere.

Second, I am not saying that “helpful” means getting all of your needs met and having an enjoyable “experience.” What I mean by helpful is being involved with other believers who “help” you to be a better disciple of Jesus. Not more guilty or busy or overwhelmed.

So, what would a church escape plan look like? And once you escape, then what do you do?

Let’s explore that in the next blog post.

For now, if you are in a situation that you need to escape, I would encourage you to pray. It would be best if you made this move because of God’s prompting not mine.

Pray a lot. Pray with your spouse and your family. You might want to spend a time of prayer and fasting. Seriously. Achieving escape velocity will not be easy and re-entry is almost impossible. So make sure you are committed before trying it.

A few weeks ago our family visited a local church. A week earlier we had met their youth pastor who had invited our two teenage boys. We attend house church and presently we don’t have any other teens attending so we thought it would be nice to take our boys and see if they could connect with other kids.

On that Sunday they were advertising an evening Vacation Bible School. Our six-year-old boy was interested in going and we thought it might be fun and a good learning experience, so we signed him up.

On Monday evening my wife took our son and stayed with him for the whole time. She said that the staff did a really good job of keeping the kids interested and teaching them songs and bible stories. When they returned home I asked our son how he liked it. His answer was, “it was great! Can I take some friends tomorrow?”

Wow! I thought. He must have really liked it. Then he told me that whoever brings the most friends over the whole week would win an iPad. An Apple iPad?! Seriously? What would a six year old do with an iPad? Surely he was mistaken. They must have meant and iPod. Probably and iPod shuffle, I thought. Those are only around $50. I could see them giving one of those away.

The next night my wife took him back to VSB but didn’t stay the whole time. I returned later to pick him up. As we walked to the car I asked him what he had learned. I was excited that he told me all about a bible story that he learned. Then he followed up by asking, “Can I call my cousin and ask if he could come tomorrow? I really want to win that iPad.” They must be really pushing this iPad thing.

It was the same story for the next two days. “VBS was great! I need to win the iPad.”

Then came the final night night, Friday night, the grand finale. This was the night that family was invited. After VBS the pastor gave a short message. Then came the moment we all had been waiting for. Who would win the coveted iPad?

The pastor invited everyone who had brought friends to come to the front. Many kids went forward. Then he went down the row of children asking them how many people they had brought. The ones who had only brought one or two people seemed a little embarrassed. There was a courtesy round of applause for them.

Then, one young man announced that he had brought seventeen visitors. There was thunderous applause and hoots for him. All of his visitors stood. He was a shoe in to win.

After all of the visitors were recognized the pastor held up the iPad, still in it’s box. Yes, it was truly a brand new ipad. I must admit that I coveted it a bit myself. I have wanted an iPad since I had played with one at the Apple store.

Now was the time. The pastor held up the iPad box and made an amazing announcement. The winner would not be announced tonight. In fact there was still hope. You see, anyone who brought visitors on Sunday would receive DOUBLE POINTS!!! That’s right boys and girls. You still have a chance! The iPad could still be yours! I saw my son’s head turn around and his eyes fixed on mine. Could it still be true? Is there still a chance? Can I bring friends on Sunday Daddy?

My heart sunk. I understand inviting people to church. I understand that our mission is to pray for unbelievers and to invite people into the Kingdom. Maybe we are supposed to use any means at our disposal, even Apple iPads. But this did not feel good. “No, son. We will not be coming back on Sunday.”

After that Friday night VBS meeting I had a long talk with my son. I told him that we don’t go to church to win prizes. We go to learn about Jesus so that we can help others. I was surprised that he seemed to really understand and agree with me.

I don’t think we will be returning to that church anytime soon.

In our house church we have been trying to learn about loving and blessing each other. Of course that is a hard pill to swallow in this consumer driven culture that we live in. It’s about us, right? It’s about getting our needs met, right? It’s about enjoying the “experience” of church, right? Right?

Well…no. No it’s not.

The irony of the fact that I am typing this blog on my MacBook Pro doesn’t escape me. I am just as addicted to “stuff,” especially technology stuff, as the next person.

At the same time God is teaching me to take baby steps toward being more humble and generous. And if I attend a church meeting, if it is in a big building or in a house, I hope that my motivation is to love others, not to win an iPad.

I watched this video from TED and Jane McGonigal last week. She said that gamers are looking for an “epic win.” According to McGonigal we should all be encouraged to play online games more and to embrace fantasy, even going so far as to say that games and gamers can change the world and solve real world problems.

Of course, most of you reading this blog know that our real world epic win happened on the cross a couple of millennia ago. We also know that real world questions and answers need to be addressed in the real world. This is the responsibility of the Church.

So, do me a favor and watch this video and let me know what you think. Is there any hope for mankind in the gaming world? Are we inviting a generation to escape the truth and embrace lies? Or am I being too over dramatic?

I have been reading the book ‘Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott. I have been thinking about the word “fierce”. I have been trying to have fierce, on purpose, relevant, even life-changing conversations with people instead of the normal yada-yada dribble.

I have also been thinking a lot, as you might have guessed, about planting house churches. In Luke 10:3b Jesus says that he is sending us out as lambs among wolves. Yikes! Not as wolves among wolves, but as lambs. As far as I know, lambs are not fierce. They are timid, humble creatures. I don’t believe that Jesus is calling us to be wimps, but to be extremely humble, not militant or combative.

In 1960 A. A. Hoehling wrote a book called The Fierce Lambs. It is the story of four American soldiers who were sent to France during the First World War. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be sent overseas into war. However, the more I engage the enemy by following orders and going forward, the more fierce the battle becomes.

So, how can I be a fierce lamb, a person who is not afraid to be bold, aggressive, even reckless at times but still humble? The answer, of course is to follow the example of Jesus. Isn’t he a beautiful example of a fierce lamb? Note to self: obey Jesus, listen to the Holy Spirit, and be fierce.

In a little over a month the House 2 House Conference is taking place in Dallas. The conference has a special place in the heart of our house church network. It was after leaders from The Well attended this conference in 2004 that we felt a real sense of calling to leave the building. In the beginning of 2005 The Well left our rented facility, moved into three homes and never looked back.

Every year since then some leaders or members of The Well have attended the National House Church Conference. We have been able to lead workshops and be involved in many ways.

It is always worth going. We now have many friends from around the country and world that we have met at House2House. We are excited to return.

Here is a little bit of information about this year’s conference:

Infrastructure: The Necessity of Transformational Leadership

The past few years have seen Christians moving in unprecedented numbers from more traditional settings into what are known as simple, organic or house church movements. This year’s National House Church Conference will explore the role of transformational leadership teams to help provide infrastructure to fresh moves of the Holy Spirit.

All sessions and workshops are interactive and participatory, designed to help Christians explore biblically and through practical experience the dynamics of house church life.

For more information and to register for the event go to house2house.com

Hope to see you there.

Last week Ali and I went to Trafford, Pennsylvania to visit our friends and the house church community that they are a part of.

We arrived on Thursday and left the following Wednesday. Other than Sunday morning, I wasn’t really sure what we would be doing other than visiting with our friends. But the church embraced us and made sure they took care of us.

On Saturday and before church on Sunday some of them had commented to me that their church seemed to be a bit stagnant and at times chaotic.

When we started the meeting after the Lord’s Supper, prayer and singing, our host Matt indicated that I “was on.” I thanked them for inviting us but then did more asking questions and listening than talking.

As they talked they vented a little but were all convinced that house church was better than where most of them had come from. One couple had been Jehovah’s Witnesses for years. A few had grown up in very traditional churches and some had grown up Catholic, which is common for this area.

Some of the members in this house church had been together for over 3 years! I encouraged them and reminded them that many house churches don’t last nearly that long. They were also sure that it was only God that could have kept them together for this long. Just like any family, they have had their good times and times of near implosion.

It’s Not About Me

I tried my best to remind them that house church was not “about them.” And that when they came together it was to meet each other’s needs rather than seek to get their own needs met. This is not about being a consumer but about denying ourselves, picking up our crosses daily and following Jesus. Even though I was not telling them anything new, that seemed to be a bit of a collective “ah-ha” moment for the group.

Sunday was a great day. It was a God day. I think everyone was encouraged. I know I was. It is exciting to see a group with such incredible potential to do great things for God.

By Tuesday night we had been with this group each day for four days. We prayed sang, laughed, cried and ate a lot! They were so appreciative that we had come to spend time with them, but in reality we were the ones who were blessed.